Inadvertently Freeing the Nipple
Time: 9:35 am
Destination: Couch
Awesome time had in Vegas now back to reality which has mainly consisted of doing lots of laundry, being asked a gazillion questions a minute and trying to decide ‘what the weather’s doing’ so I can get dressed appropriately.
Anyway, back to Vegas. Our room had floor to ceiling windows (on the 20th floor!) which I did not trust one bit, just standing near them made me nervous. Well, turns out I was right not to trust them. Not only were the giant windows shit your pants scary I also discovered (far too late) on day four that they were not in fact one way windows like I’d previously thought, you could actually see through them. Unfortunately, this meant that for the previous four days I’d been completely oblivious to the fact that other guests could see in so whilst I’d been standing there fresh out the shower topless checking out the sights below and considering what we might do with our day I may well have been flashing the whole other side of the building. I’d been inadvertently freeing the nipple! To be fair (/make myself feel better) Vegas does have a lot of boobs on display (including a topless ‘nun’ I saw on Fremont Street) and that’s outside the comfort of hotel rooms but even they aren’t legally allowed to show their nipples!
Husband Face suggested trying Paris for a cocktail on many occasions but I felt a bit too casually dressed so decided we should save it for another night. On our final night I suggested we go grab that cocktail, why not?! We got taken up in a cute little elevator by a lovely gentleman, who kindly guided us towards the bar and you know that moment in Bridget Jones where it just says ‘fuuuuuuck’ on the screen? That was what was going through my mind as I walked in wearing denim shorts, doc martens, a vest and a lace kimono (that is in fact just a beach cover up that I happen to prefer wearing as clothes) to a fancy restaurant full of people in their best evening gowns and suits! That’s not even the best part! Whilst we were sat at the bar the nice gentleman handed me a single red rose, cute! As we approached the elevator to leave, the lady stood there said “aww you got a rose!” then proceeded to tell me how the gentlemen that gave it me usually hands them out to little girls in the restaurant to which I burst out laughing as she continued to dig herself into a hole by further explaining how he ‘gave them to the best dressed’ again just to reiterate, denim shorts and a lace kimono beach cover up.
Well, I managed not to burst into flames in the 40º heat and fly home during the best thunderstorm I’ve ever seen in my life! Think Harry Potter battling dementors in the sky, didn’t even switch on the in flight entertainment it was so amazing! Glad to be back home to the small humans, less excited to attend all the birthday parties they’ve been invited to…social anxiety and sensory overload here we come!
Alas, nonsense.