Welcome to My Mind

Does anyone else get ignored in the group chat? Because I doooooo! More specifically, WhatsApp group chats. I am terrible at small talk and a group chat to me is that but the digital version. I mean there are some exceptions, the ones with real friends in are absolutely fine and fun BUT I am in a number of ‘helpful’ groups and knowing what it’s like to be left on read I try my best to acknowledge other people even if it’s just a thumbs up. However, I find a lot of the time people just continue the conversation AROUND me, like I literally answer a question that they have asked and tumble weed or wish someone well and tumble weed….like I’m a silly little ghost. It’s always the same people too, it’s not that I’m particularly bothered really and of course I don’t expect everyone to like me but I do find it baffling because it seems to take more effort to single someone out than it does to just be a decent human. Old me would probably think ‘oh no what have I done?’ but current me just accepts that some people are arses. In the words of Richard Ayoade ‘whatcha gonna do?’

I went to Aldi yesterday and there was an older man lifting bags out of his trolley and they looked heavy so I helped him put his trolley back to which he said “oh thank you, you’re very kind. I’ll remember you in my will” which obviously I found both endearing and hilarious so I then used my awesome mimicked social skills to joke (like a ‘normal’ a person) and say “I’ll hold you to that” to which he replied “it won’t be long”. Of course I hope that’s not true and he was laughing but I do love those random moments of interaction with people who just come out with something totally unexpected.

Reposted a crappy cake art (brands actual name, not an insult) that said ‘sorry I have great tits and correct opinions’ and then immediately panicked that proclaiming to have great tits would require some sort of proof or justification, welcome to my mind! In all seriousness (as serious as claiming you have great tits can get) I think these are my favourite pair so far. As any woman knows you don’t just get one pair of tits (in a lifetime I mean, you obviously only get one pair AT A TIME, unlike the woman in total recall who had three tits and probably found bra shopping an absolute nightmare!). I’ve had like six or seven pairs (maybe more). You have your first boobs, your adult boobs, your pregnant boobs, breastfeeding boobs (Jesus Christ they were ridiculous) post baby (or in my case babies) boobs, your fluctuating weight boobs, pre/during/after period boobs, the list goes on and on. Anyway, I like these ones so I’m standing by my decision to impulsively announce it to the world of instagram and despite the wording I’m not sorry after all.

Alas, nonsense.