Shitty Zombies and OnlyFeet

Spent yesterday sweating my clothes off in the unbearable heat. I don’t dislike sunny weather but I can’t stand it in England! It’s like my mind is programmed to expect it on holiday but here it just makes me feel hot and mad. Finally managed to book a pedicure, she did such a great job she took a photo at the end and given the current popularity of people selling feet pictures online I wondered whether I should be charging her. Like what if she has a secret side hustle where she’s selling pictures of perfectly manicured pedicured feet?! I doubt it. Then I wondered if all the secret foot lovers have ever considered just looking on a nail techs social media account to get their fix for free?? I happen to hate feet.

We’re on day five of half term. Today is trying to catch up on house chores that I’ve been neglecting due to A. Spending time with the small humans, B. Hot weather and C. Absolutely any excuse I can find to avoid doing boring shit! Spent the morning saying no to the switch (not sure whether it was due to my own demand avoidance or just the fact I didn’t want to be asked for it every three minutes after opening my eyes) but then realised that today is the only day they will actually have chance to play on it so I had to ‘change my mind’. I love having the kids home for half term, it’s the expectation of knowing what’s happening every second of the day that I can’t handle (paired with the fact that whatever decision I ultimately make will end up being the opposite to what someone else decided in their head which will obviously be my fault). Decided to drive an hour and a half (which equates to one film and an episode if my child asks) to a huge adventure playground on the hottest day of the year (so far) like all normal people do. Spent roughly four hours running around playing shitty zombies and hiding out with the small humans, not sure who had the most fun (it was definitely me!) Oh and they had THE BEST zip wire ever (because everyone knows that zip wires are THE best piece of playground equipment). Other than melting in the heat (and considering my new career on onlyfeet) we’ve mainly been visiting various parks and eating lots of ice lollies which is nice.

Alas, nonsense.